One thing though that has been on my mind is the differance in the amount of money that we have. It's not really an envy thing, I really appreciate what I have, but it did cause me to rethink my priorities a bit.
For one thing, they have a lot more at stake than we do in their 401 K. That is good in some ways, and of course if the US economy grows and keeps going then they are better off. But what if there is the off chance that the US economy totally flops? What if inflation grows totally out of control and the value of peoples portfollios is completely wiped out. They having a lot more will feel a lot worse than I would. What if I lost everything? Well right now, I feel secure in the idea that I will be taken care of. I know it seems naieve but that is how things have worked out for me. about 6 years ago we did lose just about everything and I was scared stiff. We had no car, no jobs, no money. What did I do? I prayed my guts out and worked through our problems to find a solution. Things worked out.
So this line of thinking led me to think about my general attitude about things. I realized that I have a bit of a defense mechanizim for when things get out of my control, I just let go. I stop thinking about what is bothering me. Our money situation and our business have really been bothering me, I have no control over it and I have had to let go. But that leads to problems. I get really aimless about life. It is hard to figure out what to do with myself and I let other important things slide also. So today, I took a look at what was happening and grabbed a hold of the reigns and started doing something productive again. Just in the nick of time I hope. Of course I haven't let everything slide, but it feels good to be trying a bit harder again.
Well I think I had better get to sleep, I will write more on this line of thinking later.