Wednesday, December 10, 2008

My Hideaway as a Kid

Well the time has come to admit it, I used to sit in my closet. You thought that was going to be juicy didn't you? I sat in my closet because it was an enclosed space, it felt good to have one wall behind my back and one wall by my side. Why? It probably has something to do with the unrecognized celiac disease which colored my thinking for my whole life and gave me a great deal of anxiety. I always felt nervous when there was too much space around me, I would have to find something to sit on or lean against in order to feel grounded. I was alway's dizzy and foggy headed and crowds were just nightmares.

So I used to sit in closets, I would sit there and think. I would sit there when my dad was yelling at my brother. I would sit there and cry. I also liked to climb to the top of the closet and sit on the shelf. One day I did just that and lo and behold I found a beautiful green box. I lifted the lid and there sitting amongst pink paper was the most beautiful doll I had ever seen, delight of delights. I picked her up and she cried a mechanical cry. She had beautiful black curls all over her head and chubby cheecks, arms and legs. I brought her down from the closet and played with her. Then I messed up her hair, so I decided to give it a wash. So I did and I had a mess. Then I decided to dry her hair, with the blow dryer, not good. I still have my beautiful doll, her hair is still messed up, I would have to send her off to the company to get her hair fixed. I don't know how much it would cost. She is a Madame Alexander doll and it's too bad that I don't still have the box, I didn't understand collecters back then (I guess I still don't). I have a dozen Holiday Barbies now all worth varying amounts of money. Most of them are out of there boxes, though I still have them. When I have checked price guides on them, most are still worth just about what I paid for them. So I think I will give one of them to my daughter for christmas. She has always wanted to play with them and it is pointless to hold on to them forever.

Well it's just about time for the kids Christmas concert, they both chose instruments to play this year. My daughter decided to play the violin. This is interesting to me because I wanted to play the violin when I was a little girl, but never got a chance. I remember holding one for a brief moment in the gym of our school, but then my parents didn't sign me up for the lessons. She also likes clogging more than any other dance, which is also interesting to me because I took clogging in the third grade and quit because it became to hard to keep going there. I had to ride my dad's enormous bike (I was a really little girl) to the studio, down the steep underground stairs by my school and several blocks, to get there. Then afterward I had to ride the bike all the way back home, needless to say it was an exhausting routine. I gave up when it was winter and it was just too cold and snowy for me. My son decided to play the Clairenet, boy does he play!! He practices and practices. Unfortunantly for my daughter, someone stole her book and it has just been hard for me to go get her another one. Not only the cost, but getting up to the studio to buy it is difficult because it is hard to get out of the house. I will do it though, I hope she dosen't give up. Well it's time to go.

~Strawberry Girl

No comments: