It's been over 3 years now since you died. At first I just ached and I cried, it felt good to cry, like a release. I couldn't believe it, that I would never see you again. I tried everything to forget, to feel better. I cooked and cleaned, I took long walks, and I cried. There has been a distance between me and everyone around me because they didn't grieve as I did. I thought that life was wrong, and I tried to imagine it was different, but it is not. Things are the way that they are, I cannot change them. For the past couple of weeks I thought that I was better, I have imagined that you are where you are supposed to be and that things are they way they are meant to be. But today, I woke up and you are still gone, I feel right now the ache. I want to cry but chide myself for being rediculous. My friend, I don't know if you will ever leave my heart. I guess that's the way things have to be, how can I forget you anyway? You were a part of me, my friend, and I will never forget.