Thursday, January 15, 2009

Here I am

My friend Sunny invited me to come and run in the morning with her and two other girls. It's what I have wanted to do for years, finally a chance to do things right. It is early, I have to wake up at 5:40 to go, and I was a bear on wednesday after doing it, I will get used to it though. I think that if I get to bed early and train wisely, so that I don't kill myself, then I will be able to do it. I have sore muscles, but a happy heart.

Even though things are crazy for me right now, and I am in a situation that I don't want to be in. I feel better about where things are, mostly because I am being more proactive. Life has just happend to me in the past, either I didn't know what I wanted, or I was unable to do what I wanted because of other peoples decisions. Right now, other peoples decisions have affected me and continue to do so. But I have done something about it, to limit the control that I am giving to someone that has lied to me, hurt me, disregarded me and ruined my trust. There are some people that you have to give a lot of chances to, because they are your family, but there are limits. I am at my limit with someone in my life. I wont say who, but they are on a short leash. It will affect me greatly if I follow through with cutting them off, (because I love them) but it is less cowardly then allowing the same pattern to happen continually. I know, I am being cryptic. But hey, this is the web and all.

I think these blogs are good and bad. This blog has been good for me because I have had to decide what I like and think about who I am in order to create it. But it has been bad to spend so much time on it when I should be doing other things. It has been good to have a place to write my random romantic ramblings about the world and bad that the nature of this blog is anomynous so that I obsess a bit about who has read my ramblings and what they think about it all. It's good that I can see what other people are doing, bad (but also good) that I feel like I am not doing enough of the things I care about. Like reading, homeschooling (though I am getting better at this and more used to doing it), CLEANING, keeping my baby out of my makeup (who say's I have to throw out all of the old stuff, I say keep it around to entertain my two year old, RIGHT?). I also wonder if it looks selfish to have my own little blog all about my thoughts etc... when others are all about there families. I guess it's alright, I like to vent without it messing up my little family blog. I do have a family blog, the link is right under my profile. I'm gonna post more on it soon, really!! :0) Four kids is a lot harder to blog about then 1 or 2, but others do it right?

Anyway, enough of my ramblings.

~Strawberry Girl

Maybe someday I will explain again why I love strawberries so much, you might think I am a little silly though.

No comments: