Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Why do we have a conscience?

Can you imagine the battles that rage in my head about what I say to people? I will bet they are going on in your mind as well. It is easy for animals, cats meow, growl and give each other looks. Dogs, yip, yap, bark, growl and find their place in the pecking order. There is definantly an order and their body language tells you where you are at, if your smart enough to figure it out.

Humans, well we have to be careful what we say, if not our conscience comes out to nag at us. It makes the world a better place I guess, after all do you really want to hear every word that goes through peoples minds? I am sure people don't want to hear every thought running around in my head.

I have imaginary conversations, am I nuts? Not really, everybody has them. The terrible thing about a conscience though is when you feel stupid for doing something or saying something, especially if you are over sensitive. Humiliation can keep you up at night, I should know. Your mind reviews everything you said in painstaking detail and your face burns. Can you get away from it? Sometimes. But sometimes you can make it worse. Like trying to apologize for something thoughtless you said. You can either look like an idiot by sticking your foot in your mouth again, or you can look like an idiot because they didn't really notice your stupidity in the first place and you shouldn't have brought it up again.

Your conscience burning, it is not a fun thing.

So therefore it is up to us to hold these imaginary conversations to avoid humiliation. I am really good at this, I can rage and argue and rant at people all that I want, in my head. I avoid a lot of conflict this way, and life runs more smoothly. The only thing bad about it is when people don't "get" how retarded they are acting and you don't really feel like enlightening them. I am patient with the little people you know (that sounds so lame).

Well i've gotta get some sleep, now that I have written some nosense about my "conscience." I wont tell you the stupid thing I did to bring it on, but you all know how I feel (I think), and if I can't tell the world about my stupidity, at least I can tell you that I am sorry for being stupid sometimes.

~Strawberry Girl

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