Well, my husbands truck was towed today. There was no warning, they just did it. Last year my husband fought tooth and nail to try and build his little company. It didn't work, he know's how to do concrete, but business...
I have been in this position before, seven years ago when we moved into this apartment, it's the same scenario, i'm a pro at it. I keep thinking about how having too much stuff clutters your thinking. Tomorrow I am going to clean out our files and try to file our taxes. It will feel good to get rid of the clutter.
The thing that is scary about the future is not knowing. When the future arrives you adjust and it's not so bad. It is very hard for me to feel sorry for myself. Why? Because I know too much about the way that most people on planet earth live. I can see in my mind the hovels and the pits that other people live in. I can see images of people who are dancing and of children playing despite their circumstances. I still have a lot, there is still a lot out there for me as well. Sure this is a tough time, but when is life not going to be tough? The difficulty of life is different every day and the things that were hard yesterday may seem insignifacant in today and it does no good to fear the future. I just wish that my mind didn't get so cluttered up with fear, anger, sadness. Because it is paralyzing to me, I can't get things done when in that state. But it is to live, to have these emotions and dealing with them is living. At the end of the day, if I have peace of mind, that I am trying and doing the best that I can, then I have peace and even joy.
Sorry that this blogs been a bit of a downer lately, I do have funny times as well. I was thinking about that, why I don't write about how funny and quirky my kids are and how life is. Maybe it's because this is a place to vent a bit. My next post will be about fun things. :0) I promise. ;p