Sunday, May 24, 2009

General Thoughts

Thoughts from this morning.

Insecurities mess up a lot of things. They come out roaring when we are vulnerable, when we are sick, tired, stressed out.

Indecision can change our lives. Not deciding is a decision in it's self.

I need to "parent" a bit more. I have been stressed, I have been sick, I have been tired. A lot of my decision power has also been taken away, yet I still need to parent. Which means more than listening, more than just being a warm body for your kids to hug.

It means teaching your kids, I have been lost lately, but I need to do it.

I am not really afraid for my little boys, I am afraid for my little girl. She is 5' 3" about already, she is only 11 but she looks much older.

I do not want my little girl to get caught up in the whole worldly focus on image. I know I can't hide her away, but I think that she should at least be able to be a little girl for at least a few more years, she's 11!!

They start thinking about relationships at 11, these little girls. It wouldn't be so bad and I wouldn't be so scared if she didn't already look like a 16 year old!!

Gah!! I need to talk to that girl.

In other ways my insecurities, stress and illness have been messing with other things. Like how I relate to everyone, and what I write.

I am feeling a lot better today, more like myself. I am really thankful that my dad and mom have stepped in to give me just a bit more support. Buying us some things that we've needed.

I think that with Sam, I have gotten into a rut as well. He's gotten stressed out over schooling, and he's so goal focused, it is hard for him to see past his nose sometimes. I need to try harder to be there when he's there, even if I don't want to watch another action thriller movie... :D (Though he did rent "He's Just Not That Into You" the other day, really funny movie, though a bit over the top).

1 comment:

Finding Pam said...

Annie, it sounds like you are having a really tough time right now. What has got our Strawberry Girl so down? Stay strong...

I left you an award at my blog. I hope you feel better real soon.

Hugs, Pam