Saturday, April 30, 2011

A Voice

Silence, my silence is an echo of the past. I've had a hard time vocalizing, so much is taken out of context when people don't know how to listen. Speaking cannot guarantee that you will be heard, there's such danger in speaking sometimes.

I am neither naive or deluded, I am not a victim always, I am an intelligent woman trying to get the best from the situations that life is presenting me.

It would be nice to live my life simply being me. It would be nice to share my thoughts, be outspoken, and not worry so much that people are going to be offended because what I say is coming from my heart. I want to bring happiness to others, I want to help others to shed the pain that they have built up in order for them to be happy again. I want to heal.

I've been thinking about myself in the context of a job. I can see things that are wrong and fix them, I can contribute comments about how things should be run. I tend to do too much though, take on too much responsibility, I kill myself from trying and then end up appearing in a bad light. How ironic is that? If only I could make a determination, I have X amount of responsibility, I will only do X amount of work and then past that it is up to other people to take up the slack.

I'm afraid of overextending myself and/or under-extending myself. I error on the side of overextending myself and don't know how to stop it.

So much of our misery is brought upon ourselves.