Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Dreams of Scotland

There's something in my bones that yearns to see Scotland, the ancestral home of my fathers family. It's funny how I seem to have a great affinity for people who's ancestors have also come from Scotland.

It's an aching for some piece of myself that was lost. Aching for tradition, history, passion. I don't know, perhaps it's silly since there's a larger percentage of Norwegian blood in me than Scottish. There's Irish blood in my line as well.

Perhaps I'm just tired of the austerity of the life that I live and I yearn for something greater than the circumstances that I find myself in.

Perhaps that is the very urge that drove my forefathers to leave their homelands, to traverse to this land. That urge to drive away, to seek a land of opportunity, to seek a place of refuge.

Yet I, the product of these many years of reaching towards the great American dream find that I am fettered by chains of poverty.

I'm taking as many steps towards freedom as I can. Learning skills that free me from dependence, financial dependence, health challenges (dependence upon drugs). To learning and striving and teaching my children as much as I can. I'm striving to break the bonds which hold me back from following my own path.

That's the point isn't it? To follow our own path, to find happiness, joy, fulfillment! Yet there are many, many people who never have that chance.

I count myself among one of the blessed to be able to reach, even in a small way, towards the things that bring fulfillment and happiness to my life.

Scotland will always call to me I believe. I will go, answer the call, walk the mysterious unknown pathways that await. As for now...

I am dreaming of that land.

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