Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Annals of an introvert at work

July 17 in the year of our Lord 2017

A documentation of the struggles of an introvert. 

Now properly started out I can begin my tale. 

There is a great beast hovering beneath the surface of my exterior facade. It snaps and snarls as I go through my day pulling me inward, driving me to hide away from the outside world. 

In fact the tendency to hide is so great that if I had money enough to not have to work I would do just that. I would find a little space and curl up, doing as I pleased and avoiding interaction with others. 

My world would be narrow, I would feel safe, but at the same time claustrophobic. Enclosed with my thoughts, my thoughts would trap me. 

The paradise of solitude would become a torture. 

Thankfully (though I'm not always thankful) I have to go to work where I am persistently bombarded with requests to interact with others. To push past the boundaries which I have set for myself, past my comfort zone. 

My mind is constantly chanting "no, no, no." The discomfort grows in my stomach, my chest... my head hurts, I want to cry... I want to hide.

But I put on a happy face. I speak to others even though I would like to hide. I listen when I want to retreat. I venture to someone's desk, to talk to them even though I am much more comfortable hiding at my own. 

Thus is how it is for an introvert like me. 

At odd moments though when I have managed to break past my fears, I find that I enjoy speaking with other people and getting to know them. 

It is an effort, but there is a reward. That is what I seek in my travels through life.


Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Why I love rainbows

A rainbow is a shaft of hope, a reminder that pure unadulterated color exists, in a world of dimmer hues.

On a grey day the sighting of a beautiful rainbow can touch childish emotions that we may have forgotten in our day to day adult lives.

Revered as harbingers of Gods love, a promise that the floods would end and that the sun would shine again.

We've always held out hope that these shining beacons of light can point our way to unimaginable stores of gold.

To me they are phantoms of wonder. They make my heart quicken, I am always struck by a sense of awe every time I spy a rainbow.