July 17 in the year of our Lord 2017
A documentation of the struggles of an introvert.
Now properly started out I can begin my tale.
There is a great beast hovering beneath the surface of my exterior facade. It snaps and snarls as I go through my day pulling me inward, driving me to hide away from the outside world.
In fact the tendency to hide is so great that if I had money enough to not have to work I would do just that. I would find a little space and curl up, doing as I pleased and avoiding interaction with others.
My world would be narrow, I would feel safe, but at the same time claustrophobic. Enclosed with my thoughts, my thoughts would trap me.
The paradise of solitude would become a torture.
Thankfully (though I'm not always thankful) I have to go to work where I am persistently bombarded with requests to interact with others. To push past the boundaries which I have set for myself, past my comfort zone.
My mind is constantly chanting "no, no, no." The discomfort grows in my stomach, my chest... my head hurts, I want to cry... I want to hide.
But I put on a happy face. I speak to others even though I would like to hide. I listen when I want to retreat. I venture to someone's desk, to talk to them even though I am much more comfortable hiding at my own.
Thus is how it is for an introvert like me.
At odd moments though when I have managed to break past my fears, I find that I enjoy speaking with other people and getting to know them.
It is an effort, but there is a reward. That is what I seek in my travels through life.